The real world is terrifying - I want to live in a movie.

But like, a happy, cheesy, Disney movie. Not a movie like Requiem for a Dream. That stuff is scary shit.

--

Oh. And it turns out that all that I needed to turn me away from IB again was some rejection, ha. I should be glad though. If I can't even make it through first-rounds, there's no way I'd survive superday. Not to mention the time drain it would be.

Speaking of which, looking for internships is such a time suck. I worry about school. I worry about interviews. I worry that I worry too much... I'm going to die young from this stress, I just know it. The funny thing is, I don't even have that much of a reason to be stressed. I'm getting a college education from a good school, I have my family, I have my friends, I have a roof over my head, I don't have to worry about money, I don't have any terrible health concerns, I don't live in a society where getting my hands bitten off by bullet ants is a rite of passage... It's the kind of life where people would say that you've got everything going for you, or at the very least, all the basic ingredients to get everything going. And yet I'm unsatisfied, and I worry.

I bet I would worry if I lived in a Disney movie. Those characters go through some crazy stuff. But I guess it's just comforting knowing that, since it's Disney, there will be a happy ending - no exceptions. I guess I'd just like to have that guarantee. Funny, this was kind of what my college admissions essay was about - believing in a happy ending - my happy ending - even if things don't turn out the way I expect them to. I suppose I should try live by that belief.

So apparently I like to ramble. But you knew that already.