After three years of work, I'm finally getting to enjoy college.

:)

With every character of Chinese I forget, I feel like I'm losing a bit of my culture..

I hate it when nice people are annoying. Then I have to feel bad for not liking them...

Truth Game on Facebook

So apparently Facebook has this app called the "Truth Game" where people anonymously answer questions about you.

Apparently someone answered 'yes' to the question 'Do you think that Wendy Zhang could shoot someone if [she] had to?'

Awesome. Just what I was going for. ;)

More Scrubs Music

Scrubs has has such good music. My latest discovery:

"Human" by Jon McLaughlin

Heard this song on an episode of Scrubs:



<3 Keane.

Also, <3 Matt Nathanson.  This is one of my favorite songs by him.  Of course, I pretty much like all the songs on that album.

Pretty good live too!

So I've realized something. I don't think I'm bad writer. I'm just bad at deciding what to write. A lot of times, especially when it comes admissions essays, I just need some guidance on what I should write about. Once I've settled on that, I find that I do okay. It's just that when left to my own devices, I often pick the wrong things to write about.

So maybe that does make me a bad writer. Since the hardest part may be in laying out that effective outline, no?

I'm starting to think about essays the way I think about artwork. Those of you who know me know that I like to dabble in art. Of course, I'm nothing spectacular, but that can't stop me from appreciating it. Anyway, I think the greatest achievement for any piece of artwork is to perfectly capture an experience, complete with all the joys and turmoils, thoughts and feelings that accompany it.

I wish I could do that with my writing. Just write an essay which overflows with the "essence" of me. While casting that essence in the best possible light, of course.

That, I think, would be the highest bar for any form of expression.

Also, you might be inclined to think that I'm a terrible writer, judging from this blog. In my defense, I don't think this blog is a fair representation. It's not like I spend a lot of time editing these posts or anything. These posts are more like what Lindsay Lohan would call "word vomit" in the movie Mean Girls. Just sayin'.

I should probably start posting more interesting things rather than word-vomiting all the time.

The real world pretty much scares me shitless. I want to be a perpetual student.

Okay, so I'm exaggerating on both fronts there, but I got your attention, didn't I? Hyperbole is the way to go.

Email is the new snail mail, and Facebook is the new email.

For anyone who has a soft spot for Chinese oldies like I do

Check this kid out:



In other news, I've recently started watching 鬼丈夫：

Now there's a tear-jerker for you.  Nicholas Sparks, you ain't got nothin' on this.

I wanted to watch 梅花烙 originally, but the DVD was all scratched up, so in spite of my stubbornness, I had to give up.  Oh well, I'll probably just watch it on YouTube sometime later.

Nutraloaf

I once saw a segment on 20/20 about the Prison Loaf.  It's this loaf that prisons reserve as a sort of "punishment" for the inmates with the worst behavior issues.  It's nutritionally complete though, so it technically doesn't put the inmates' health at risk. I remember the segment mentioning that even the really tough guys would shrink in fear at the thought of it.  It's a highly controversial loaf, and has even been accused of being cruel and unusual punishment, particularly because the concept of using food as punishment itself is a controversial subject.

Anyway, I started browsing about this loaf online, and found some more information regarding the loaf.

The article talks mostly about what the loaf tastes like.  You can read it if you'd like.  But mostly, I just wanted to point out this reader comment:

"Don’t do the crime if you can’t stomach the slime."

 Teehee.  <3

So one of the other BIOEs in my class got a summer internship with an actual biotech company in Houston.

Makes me wonder if I should have tried harder (read: at all) to find a biotech industry internship for this summer.  Mostly, I think I was just jaded from last year, when I applied to only biotech companies... and got nothing.

Oh well.  I'm happy with Capital One.  I just feel like my career is heading for a rather snaky path.  And by snaky, I mean convoluted, not Slytherin.

I was going to write about something else too.  But I forgot.  So I guess now you don't get the privilege of knowing.  How sad for you.

No worries though.  Lots of work in these last two weeks of class, which probably means that I'll be here blogging a lot more than I should be.  10 Points for procrastination!

While doing my regular Facebook rounds, I happened across this website:

http://mymomisafob.com/

<3

I could definitely see my mom doing half the things on that site.  Although, thankfully, she is considerably less paranoid about things like pregnancy and smoking.

Movie Review Time! - Shutter Island

I have to say, I was slightly disappointed. The movie left much to be desired. I left the movie feeling confused, and even after realizing (with a little help with my friends) what the movie was going after, it still didn't feel quite right. With good movies (at least, good psychological thrillers), when you think back on the movie, all the pieces should fit back together, pulling the movie together as a whole. Needless to say, Shutter Island failed to do so.

I feel like I might need a second viewing to decide just how bad it was. ("Bad" sounds so harsh though - it wasn't really that bad, just not very good.) This was Yilong's second time watching the movie, and he mentioned that he had noticed a lot of inconsistencies this time through. Reminds me of House of the Flying Daggers. It just doesn't make much sense if you think about it too much. Too many loopholes in the script.

Nonetheless, Shutter Island was very visually appealing. Well, several of the dream/hallucination/flashback sequences were - not so sure about the rest. (Kind of like House of the Flying Daggers in that regard too, except better. House of the Flying Daggers seemed a bit over the top with the brightness of the colors, imo.) Anyway, the dream sequences were very well done - a "visual feast" if you will. I'm just repeating myself now, but I really really enjoyed the way these scenes were done.

The scary music was a little over-the-top, and a little unnecessary/unfitting at times. I know that all scary movies use music to heighten the suspense, but in this case, the music detracted from the experience rather than adding to it. Several times throughout the movie, my attention was drawn toward the music and away from the plot. A good soundtrack should fold seamlessly into the plot, such that you have to actively think to even notice it. Shutter Island's soundtrack was just loud and distracting. A quick scan of the article on Wikipedia tells me that no original soundtrack was written for the film. That may be why the music felt a bit misplaced. It wasn't all bad - there where just several instances where it felt like the music was trying too hard and became too overpowering.

All in all, Shutter Island left much to be desired. To be fair, I think it deserves a second viewing before it can be fairly judged. However, given that I walked away feeling unsatisfied on even the first watch, I'm not particularly inclined to sit through it all again. For a better psychological thriller, check out Pan's Labyrinth or Fight Club (yes, I'm counting Fight Club - it has a psychological element. Watch it and you'll see). Shutter Island pales in comparison.

Hats off to the cast though. No issues with the acting. Although, I'm not one to say much about acting - I usually don't have any problems with the acting (unless it happens to be Keanu Reeves in Sweet November, or Taylor Lautner in New Moon - once you get over how hot he is), but that's probably because I don't know too much about it.

Still a big fan of Leonardo DiCaprio though, but mostly I think I'm impressed by his performance in The Departed, as well as the amazing amount of breadth and longevity he's had as an actor. I really ought to check out some of his other movies, like The Aviator. Speaking of which, did you realize that Martin Scorsese's past four movies have all starred Leo? Reminds me of the Christian Bale - Christopher Nolan pairing. Which reminds me of how talented Jonathan Nolan must be, and how under-appreciated, because screenplay writers never get the attention they deserve. Also, speaking of the Nolan brothers, I sill want to see Memento.

Ahh, but I'm getting off track now. Anyway, I'm a little disappointed that the past two movies I've seen in theatres (the one before this being Valentine's Day) were both not very good. I just want to see a good movie, dang it. Makes me want to only watch movies which have gotten good reviews. Or chick-flicks with mediocre reviews - those I can deal with - the gushy, feel-good, unadulterated romance makes up for the silly predictable plot most of the time.

Mmm, okay. I'm out.

Movie List

I'm going to start a movie list, i.e. a list of movies that I need to see. In no particular order:

1. Dead Poets Society
2. Citizen Kane
3. Life is Beautiful (I've only seen the second half..)

Okay... yeah, that's all I got right now. Mostly, I'm just very intrigued by Dead Poets Society. It looks very interesting.

I'm also quite intrigued by Requiem for Dream, but I hear that's a hard movie to stomach. But it sounds good.. from Wikipedia...

Mmm, I'm tired. Nap instead of work? Yes, I think so. :)

I don't like reading my past posts. It reminds me of how silly I am.

Perhaps a better word is foolish. I actually rather enjoy the silliness

And so, the wishful thinking begins

Someone needs to slap me before I get my hopes up again.

I seem to find that anytime I really want something, I'm sure not to get it. This may have to do with that psychological effect that only the instances that fit your example stand out in your mind.

But still.

Maybe the trick is to stop wanting so much. Now that it's out of my hands, apathy is the surest way to go.

But I just can't help it. I care too much. It's part of being a worrier. I should try to be a warrior instead. ;)

The real world is terrifying - I want to live in a movie.

But like, a happy, cheesy, Disney movie. Not a movie like Requiem for a Dream. That stuff is scary shit.

--

Oh. And it turns out that all that I needed to turn me away from IB again was some rejection, ha. I should be glad though. If I can't even make it through first-rounds, there's no way I'd survive superday. Not to mention the time drain it would be.

Speaking of which, looking for internships is such a time suck. I worry about school. I worry about interviews. I worry that I worry too much... I'm going to die young from this stress, I just know it. The funny thing is, I don't even have that much of a reason to be stressed. I'm getting a college education from a good school, I have my family, I have my friends, I have a roof over my head, I don't have to worry about money, I don't have any terrible health concerns, I don't live in a society where getting my hands bitten off by bullet ants is a rite of passage... It's the kind of life where people would say that you've got everything going for you, or at the very least, all the basic ingredients to get everything going. And yet I'm unsatisfied, and I worry.

I bet I would worry if I lived in a Disney movie. Those characters go through some crazy stuff. But I guess it's just comforting knowing that, since it's Disney, there will be a happy ending - no exceptions. I guess I'd just like to have that guarantee. Funny, this was kind of what my college admissions essay was about - believing in a happy ending - my happy ending - even if things don't turn out the way I expect them to. I suppose I should try live by that belief.

So apparently I like to ramble. But you knew that already.

New Years Resolution

I tend to set new years resolutions only after the new year has begun, and only as I happen to think of them.

Well, I thought of my first one:

Pay attention in class. Strive to be an active listener.

IB and Mother Night

Recently, I've started interviewing with investment banks, and in doing so, I think I've come to feel the weight of the infamous words of Mother Night: You are who you pretend to be. Preparing answers for questions like "Why do you want to be an investment banker?" is starting to actually make me want to be a banker. Well, kind of. I feel like my answers make sense, and that I agree with them, and that I really can relate to them. Which seems kind of silly to me, since I come up with these answers by reading blogs which tell you how to answer these kinds of questions. So it seems like it's completely external - I wasn't even the one to come up with these reasons! But I guess I've slowly been internalizing these lines as I prepare. After all, I have to believe myself first, if anyone else is going to believe me, right?

And, well, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm not sure I like what's happening. I feel like I'm getting tricked or something.

Although... one aspect of banking has unexpectedly turned me off. The fact that my interviewers were so young.. and wearing suits... It's weird - in my head, I've always liked the idea of being an important person in a suit. But do I really want to wear a suit to work everyday? I like how this is what my concern is. And by "like" here, I really mean "can't believe/wth is wrong with me?" I am such a weirdo.